You know, when I read Jill Scott’s post on, I didn’t even know what to think. She says that when she sees a black man married to or dating a white woman, she feels her spirit “wince”. Even though I am in an interracial relationship, as a black woman, just for a moment, I felt some empathy for her.

But that moment passed fairly quickly.

Scott, and women that think like her, need to get over it. Now. Stop using the very complex history of race relations in this country as the reason for your own jealousy and insecurities. The latter is the heart of the matter; grown folks acting like they are in high school, minding business that is clearly not theirs.

She also states how in the past, black men would be killed for having relationships with white women. This is true…and? I mean, is stating that little historical nugget some kind of taunt to said black men? Reminding those that date/marry non-black women that their “behavior” now would have gotten them killed 50 years ago? How incredibly petty.

Scott tries to explain her comments here in a CNN interview, but does a poor job.

Jill, if you’re all about love, why do you care who dates/marries who? It should make you happy that people can be with whomever they want with out public ridicule and loss of life. And you are not opening dialogue about U.S. race relations, so stop pretending you are. You’re just airing personal frustrations. In addition, qualifying that you only feel this way in certain places, i.e., here in the U.S., but not in London or Holland, just makes you seem like a bizarre person who might have a mental problem.

Now, I will not go so far as to say Scott is racist. Like I said above, it is a matter of personal insecurities and blaming others for your poor choice in men. Scott is professionally successful, doing what she loves, and great at what she does, yet she wastes her time lamenting about another person’s choice of a mate because they are not black.

Read this article at The Atlantic, written by Ta-Nehisi Coates. He sums things up very well.

a cup of curiosity Interracial relationships, Race and Culture

2 Replies

  1. Carisa, you are absolutely right. People need to follow their hearts and build lasting relationships with others who share their values, who they connect to and who have strong character. All of these things are independent of the color of your skin. This is all part of a long and painful process of the world recognizing that we are all part of one human family not defined by our race, religion or nationality.

  2. Hi Carissa! I just wanted to let you know that your post you wrote about Interracial Families in the Pacific Northwest is featured this week at Mixed and Happy! There is already some discussion starting in the comments section, so come check it out! (I didn’t have your email and figured this was the best way to get the info to you!)


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