Remember those memes that were going around (and still probably are) of all these rules dad had for dating his daughter? It rubbed me the wrong way because it clearly expressed archaic, unhealthy ways on how to respond when your daughter inevitably starts dating. I recently saw another one that showed a wonderful alternative, here.
Not only do both parents and partners have no say on what a woman does with her body, but this is the case for all young people, including men. There is definitely plenty of sexism in the idea that dad has some kind of co-CEO role in deciding who is good enough to date his daughter, but what is also missing is the larger role adult privilege has in this mindset as well.
People are so quick to tell other people to check their privilege regarding race, sex, or sexual orientation, but rarely will you see someone check their own adult privilege or encourage someone to do the same. I doubt most people even believe this exists. The idea that your dad has a say in who you date or marry is very demeaning to women. But it’s also equally demeaning to young people in general. No one should have to jump through your arbitrary, subjective hoops to be worthy to date your child. And there should be enough trust in your child that they can choose someone who will respect them on their own terms, not yours.
Ok, no easy feat, I know. But it’s certainly a great parenting goal to aspire to. My kids are not teens yet, so check on how stressed my DH and I will be in 10 years!